Feel more confident about your decision

Suppose that you are around 80% confident in your choice to parent. Even so, there may be a voice wondering, “What are you getting yourself into?”  What if you’re sorry later and stuck with a person and role that you didn’t really want? After all, this decision is the only one you can’t reverse. You can divorce a spouse, change careers, move to a different neighborhood or country, but there’s no reversing parenthood! The Baby Decision helps you get comfortable with your plans by calming your doubts and reassuring you that a little ambivalence remains even when you have made the right choice. Doing the exercises in “Secret Doors” will assure you of a strong desire to parent. Understanding the myths of childfree living will assure you that you haven’t chosen parenting just because you or others assume it’s an inevitable next step in your life.

Now that your doubt is no longer distracting you, you can focus on preparing for successful parenthood.

How The Baby Decision helps you prepare for parenthood:

Worried you won’t be a good parent or that you’ll repeat your parents’ mistakes? The Baby Decision offers reassuring insights and recommended actions to prepare psychologically for parenthood and begin learning healthy parenting skills.

Afraid you’ll be stuck with all the child care? “Grape Juice on Mommy’s Briefcase” helps you plan for shared parenthood.

Wondering if you’re too old or too tired to parent? Learn how to minimize potential problems and take pride in the benefits that you and your child will enjoy thanks to your increased wisdom and experience.

Worried that your partner has begrudgingly agreed to parenthood to please you but isn’t fully on board? “Secret Doors” and “Tug-of-War” will strengthen your partner’s commitment and help you plan together to make parenthood as enjoyable as possible for both of you.

Worried about the chaos and expense of a second child before you have even had your first? After reading the “Only Child” chapter, you’ll be reassured that based on self-reports and extensive academic research, only children and their families are typically happy and successful. Now you can enjoy planning for your first child without worrying about a second.

Wondering if your baby will be healthy?  In appendix 3, genetic expert Kayla Sheets tells you what to eat, which habits to change, and how to remove toxins from your environment.  You’ll also learn why a genetic consult is crucial regardless of your health and family history,

Resources for Readers Leaning Toward Parenting

Below are just a few of the extensive resources you’ll find in Appendices 1 and 2.

Brody, Lauren Smith. The Fifth Trimester: The Working Mom’s Guide to Style, Sanity and Big Success After Baby. New York:  Doubleday, 2017.

Dunn, Jancee. How Not to Hate Your Husband After Kids. New York:  Little, Brown, 2017 (sharing the work, relevant for same-sex, and/or unmarried partners, too).

Gottman, John and Julie Scwartz Gottman. And Baby Makes Three: The Six Step Plan for Preserving Marital Intimacy and Rekindling Romance After the Baby Arrives. New York: Crown, 2007

Gresko, Brian, editor.  When First I Held You: 22 Critically Acclaimed Writers Talk About the Triumphs, Challenges, and Transformative Experience of Fatherhood.  New York: Berkley, 2014

Jana, Laura A. and Jennifer Shue. Heading Home with Your Newborn. From Birth to Reality, Second Edition. Elkgrove Village, IL: American Academy of Pediatrics, 2005

Kitzinger, Sheila. The Complete Book of Pregnancy and Childbirth, Fourth edition. New York: Knopf, 2004.

Naumburg, Carla. Parenting in the Present Moment:  How to Stay Focused on What Really Matters. Berkeley, CA: Parallax Press, 2014.

Placksin, Sally. Mothering the New Mother: Mothers’ Feelings and Needs After Childbirth: A Support and Resource Guide, Second edition. New York: New Market Press, 2000.

Senior, Jennifer. All Joy and No Fun: The Paradox of Modern Parenthood.  New York: Ecco, 2014. Examines the strange mixture: boredom and frustration on the one hand, on the other a wealth of joy/connection/meaning.

Slaughter, Anne-Marie. Unfinished Business: Women, Men, Work, Family. New York: Random House, 2015. A visionary but practical call for society, leaders, corporations to make it easier for employees to enjoy and afford families.

Brain, Child. The Magazine for Thinking Mothers.
Wonderful articles and essays with honesty, warmth, and compassion.
www.brainchildmag.com 

Conceivable Future
A woman-led network focusing on the threat of climate change to reproductive health and justice.

http://conceivablefuture.org

KellyMom
A nurse/mother offers insights on nursing, parenting and baby sleep patterns.
www.kellymom.com

Postpartum Support International
Nationwide telephone support, information, and referrals to professionals and support groups.
Support Helpline 800.894.9452
www.postpartum.net

RESOLVE
The national organization for information, physician referral, and local support groups for those facing fertility or pregnancy loss. Also has information on protecting your fertility if you aren’t ready to start trying yet, and on alternatives such as donor conception, surrogacy, adoption and choosing childfree after infertility.
www.resolve.org

Vibrant Gene
Kayla Sheets, LCGC, board-certified genetic counselor, TV host, and specialist in preparing for a healthy pregnancy. You’ll find links to her TV shows as well as information on achieving optimal health before conception. See also  Appendix 3 of The Baby Decision, “Preparing Your Body for a Healthy Pregnancy.”
http://www.vibrantgene.com